Dear Creepy Guy at the Laundromat and His Friend:
It shouldn't take you two hours to mop one spot on the floor, even if it is under the Coke machine. And your loud talking to each other about your exciting putang-filled weekend is not very exciting. The girls in my neighborhood already have enough Baby Daddy and I just find you annoying.
Also, please stop looking into my basket when you think I am not noticing. My underthings are not that exciting.
I would think it was cute that you expect me to clean the apartment before you come over to show my room to a prospie if you weren't so completely delusional. You and I both know that place is a crackhouse and hasn't been cleaned since the Reagan administration.
I still expect to get my deposit back, and I have witnesses who are willing to fight on my behalf even though I will be leaving town soon.